Square Boy
875 Danforth Avenue
416-461-2571
Dinner for two with all taxes, tip and soft drinks: $12

Genghis Khan’s Golden Horde kept scrapings of mutton and lamb to form into flat patties. The meat was tenderized by being placed under their saddles and eaten raw. This allowed them to loot and pillage with one hand while eating with the other. There’s a good reason fast food was invented.

French fries were a little more problematic. And there is some dispute as to whether the Mongols were responsible for the first Happy Meal. Anyway, the conquered Russians took a liking to this raw meat; hence Steak Tartare.

Sailors from Hamburg calling on Russian ports brought back this ground meat back to Germany, and now, after a few centuries, there are a billion members of the Golden Arches Horde. (You can take my research as impeccably accurate; I read it on the internet.)

Continue reading Square Boy: Legend on the Danforth »

Shanghai Cowgirl
538 Queen Street West
416-203-6623
Dinner for two with all taxes and tip (no beverages): $60

On our way to an art exhibit opening on Queen Street West, my friends and I decided to stop somewhere for a quick bite. We pass by Shanghai Cowgirl every time we walk along Queen Street, and each time I would quickly peek inside and make a mental note to come here and try it out. After receiving a recommendation from a friend, we finally paid the place a visit.

Continue reading When a Cowgirl Goes to Shanghai »

Chick-N-Joy
1483 Queen Street East
416-461-5848
Dinner for two with beverages and tip: $15

Most death row prisoners in the United States choose fried chicken and cheeseburgers as a last meal. My family chose fried chicken and cheeseburgers as a Mother’s Day meal. Well, it was I who really made the choice. I had frequently walked by Chick-N-Joy, a Leslieville take-out. The word “Joy” in the restaurant’s name excited me with its promise of a transcendent experience. A chicken that induces feelings of joy is a chicken worth seeking out. And this would be particularly true if you were to be electrocuted in a few hours.

Well, this Mother’s Day, during our unseasonably warm weather, a picnic with my wife and daughter seemed like a perfect opportunity to sample this chicken. Now let’s be honest: fried chicken is not a ‘cool’ or sophisticated meal. You might woo a paramour with churrasco chicken or coq-au-vin. But fried chicken? Do you think you will be bedded or even taken seriously if you ply your beloved with fried chicken, macaroni salad and Dr. Pepper?And of course the spectre of the good Colonel looms over fried chicken. Across the world his avuncular, bearded image is permanently associated with that particular food. I have nothing personal against the late Colonel. As a matter of fact he was a big fan of Canada. He kept the rights to market his buckets in our dominion after he sold his American business. At least here, he realized, he could maintain his poultry-cooking standards.The Colonel also donated heavily to many charitable organizations here.

Continue reading Crossing the Road to Chick-N-Joy »

Liquidation Outlet – Deals on Meals
265 Coxwell Avenue
Lunch for two with beverage and tip – $10 (closed as of publication)

By the time I have digested my grilled-cheese sandwich, this lunch counter will be no more. I had no idea it was about to die. I should have been by its side sooner. I intended to write a review and now I’m writing a eulogy - a eulogy for the last department store lunch counter in Toronto. How I wish this ancient counter could talk. I could record its stories before it perishes - sixty years worth of sad and curious stories from Coxwell and Gerrard.

For me and for many others over a certain age, eating at such a lunch counter evokes sweet memories of their childhood. On Saturdays, my mother and I would take the bus to Woolworth’s. She’d do some shopping, and then we’d eat lunch together at the counter. I can see myself now, clutching Mom’s hand, keenly expecting some shiny trinket and a chocolate milkshake because I was her “sweetness and light”. This idyll lasted all too briefly, shattered one day when my mother was caught shoplifting and dragged away, flailing her limbs and screaming blasphemies. We weren’t allowed back into Woolworth’s after that. But I hold sacred the memory of those visits. And I vowed to my own daughter that one day we’d eat at a lunch counter together.

Continue reading Last Meal at the Lunch Counter »

Boom Breakfast and Co.
1036 St Clair West
416-657-3447
Breakfast for two with coffee: $30

Having lived in Corso Italia, otherwise known as St Clair West, for just about a year and a half now, I have been witness to a slow but steady gentrification of the neighbourhood. Thankfully, this has come in the way of new shops and restaurants, art galleries, and business and not giant eyesore condominiums (though one of these days they are bound to make an appearance). The one thing this neighbourhood has been lacking is a good all-day breakfast.

Up until recently, the closest thing St Clair West has had to a brekkie joint were a sprinkling of little bar-cum-restaurants that look more like a scene from The Sopranos than anything else (and not in the “wow, this looks like the Sopranos set” kinda way, but more like “wow, probably should of rethought some of those life decisions”).

Continue reading Ba Da Boom - Corso Italia Gets Served »

Pop quiz hot shot. It’s 1am, and the club is lame, you just had four shots of Jack and you’re in for a hangover tomorrow. What do you do? What do you do?

We, the many and proud, of the megalopolis that is Toronto, know that we can get just about anything at anytime. And, all dirty thoughts aside, that means there is always some good food waiting to satisfy those late night cravings.

Living in this city for just over a year and a half now, I can honestly say that I have a list of regularly attended late night eateries approaching the thirties. Of course, I am of the opinion that going to a bar on the weekend is really just an excuse to go eat after. Most normal people tend to have a list of 5 or so restos that make up their last resort food fixes.

Continue reading In Search of the Late Night Nosh »

The Bus Terminal Family Restaurant
1606 Danforth (at Coxwell)
416-463-4680
dinner for two with taxes and tip: $25

The coq-au-vin tasted marvelous but my daughter demanded chicken in nugget form. The crystal decanter was exquisitely crafted; a sudden lunge by her sent it toppling to the floor. Lethal shards of glass flew into someone’s ratatouille. What was left of the warm, intimate ambience was shattered by her cries of “I have to go pee.” And then she did. My wife and I skulked out of the restaurant dragging a bawling toddler, our own bladders loosening in anxiety. The hateful glares of the patrons still haunt our every waking hour – particularly the dinner hour.

We should have known better than to take a rambunctious child to an upscale restaurant, even on our anniversary. Out of respect for the dining public we vowed to eat exclusively at “family restaurants”. For me, “family restaurant” is a vaguely defined but troubling term. It evokes images of Formica and vinyl, harried parents with their squabbling children, and food neither too spicy nor too pricey. (When I was boy, Swiss Chalet was an excursion into ethnic dining.) Family dining means plastic table mats and sturdy dishware, a boisterous atmosphere and crayons into which your offspring can divert their destructive impulses. Oh well, we all have our personal demons.

Continue reading The Bus Terminal Family Restaurant »

The Freshwood Grill
293 Roncesvalles Avenue
416-537-1882
lunch for two with beverages, taxes and tip: $40

It had been a long time since I ventured into the Freshwood Grill. Just about a year and a half, as a matter of fact, after having one of the most disastrous and disgusting restaurant meals I’d ever eaten – the Coles Notes version for those not inclined to read the whole linked post: rancid-tasting fries, tasteless Mac and cheese, downright surly service (from a manager!) and a dimwitted server who had issues with bringing us water.

When my friend and fellow TasteTO writer Melissa mentioned wanting to try the place, I cringed, and not just inwardly. But working under Vogue food writer Jeffrey Steingarten’s theory that you have to try something ten times before you can conclusively say you dislike it, I figured I’d give it another go. After all, it couldn’t possibly have been as bad as last time.

The place still had too many tables crammed too close together, and still reeked vaguely of wood smoke. I know this is their schtick, with the “fresh wood” grill and all, but get a ventilation system, folks. If I leave your restaurant smelling like other people’s dinner, that’s not a good thing.

Continue reading Getting Fresh at the Freshwood Grill »