Posted by Sheryl Kirby in news and media, what's cooking on May 28, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Dear City of Toronto, What the fuck? No, seriously... What? The? Fuck??? After all the whining and complaining and the pitiful desperation to be just like New York City and be all multi-cultural with carts selling street food representing the various nationalities that make up our city, the Toronto Star is now reporting that the street food program isn't going to happen until next spring and then only as a pilot project. They can't use curse words at the Star, but I can, and you know what I'm thinking? Clusterfuck. Worse, your stupid micromanagement of what should really be an easy thing to do (the province even gave you the go-ahead a year ago!) means that I actually have to agree with Case Ootes on something. And that's just salt in the wound. Come on - I'm not saying let people start selling homemade pie on the side of the road, but why - why, why, why in the name of little green apples - does everything have to be so frustratingly complicated? Seriously.

Also in the Star, in "food that you'll be able to get some time this century", there's a fantastic piece on dosa by Smita and Sanjeev Chandra, explaining the different fillings and how these lovely crepes are made. The piece has a sidebar of various recipes to try making dosa at home. Nancy J. White looks at just how environmentally-friendly those wine-filled TetraPak's really are, and Gord Stimmell explores some outstanding general list wines.

The Toronto Sun has a couple of articles related to that movie... with the girls... based on the TV show... that I could never watch a whole episode of without wanting to jam a fork in the side of my head, and which quite possibly made me hate all women everywhere. (Although the release of said movie has provoked someone to finally get around to releasing the DVD of Square Pegs, which also starred the star of *that* show, so thanks to the stupid movie based on that stupid show, I've been getting daily doses of Johnny Slash and laughing at the fashions from 1982. Totally different head, totally.) In any case - here - stupid cocktails named after the characters of the stupid show, and cupcakes from the stupid show. Rita DeMontis also has local cupcakes that help charity and don't make me want to jab things with a fork... okay, maybe I could jab some cupcakes. And, and... shut UP - Elizabeth Baird found the first Ontario strawberries. Sooooo jealous!

The National Post also has a piece on stupid cocktails named after the characters of the stupid TV show (psst -there's no such thing as a martini glass - it's a cocktail glass, yo!), and has real food related articles such as a review of Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything Vegetarian; Malcolm Jolley's ode to Devo (maybe he's been watching Square Pegs too!) in the form of a good whisk; and Gina Mallet gets cranky about the fois gras ban in Chicago, or the reversal of the fois gras ban, I'm not sure. Also at the Post, Amy Rosen reviews Anita Stewart's Canada, and shares a recipe for hodgepodge (no, not the glue, although if you cook it incorrectly, maybe), and Matt Dunigan breaks out the backyard grill.

Also hurting my head - although not quite of the fork-jabbing variety - is my confusion as to why the Globe and Mail puts the articles from their lifestyle section in two different places and then locks some in one section but not on the other. It means I have to check two different places to link to the articles, but eventually find working links to the majority of them. Why do you do this, Globe and Mail? Why? Can't you see I'm already traumatized by municipal red tape and girly-girl movies?

In any case, Stephen Beaumont reports that tequila is the hot new beverage. There's also a bit about Sammy Hagar and tequila, but Sammy Hagar kind of freaks me out with all of his gun-toting vegetarian-hatred, and David Lee Roth was the only real Van Halen front man, so there. (Note - the Google ads for this piece pulls up a Sammy Hagar Cabo Cruise... shoot me now. No, wait...) Heather Sokoloff reviews The Fruit Hunters: A Story of Nature, Adventure, Commerce and Obsession; Alexandra Gill reviews a Vancouver izakaya restaurant; and Chef David Lee works with white and green asparagus for a tasty tart.

And speaking of crazy guys with guns, Rebecca Dube reports:

Miller and Anheuser-Busch are introducing camouflage beer cans in an attempt to appeal to hunters, outdoor enthusiasts and anyone who enjoys the simple pleasures of hiding in the bushes with a six-pack.

Uhhh, yeah. But what'll they use for target practice now? And finally, Beppi Crosariol recommends rosé wines for summer. Apparently some of them are actually pretty good.

EDIT TO ADD - yes, okay, I confused Ted Nugent and Sammy Hagar. My apologies. I was new wave in the 80s, all those hair metal guys blend together for me.