Well, the big news this week was the Hogtown visit by potty-mouthed chef Gordon Ramsay. Here doing a book tour (and checking locations for a possible new restaurant) Ramsay had a busy schedule of interviews with pretty much every major media outlet. Except us. Oh, we asked. Didn’t quite lower ourselves to begging and pleading, though, and scored a consolation prize of a review copy of his latest book instead of some face time, but we did ask. I’ll keep my ranting to a minimum about how blogs and online news sites (on any topic) ARE TOO real media, but I can’t help but be a little put out that a devoted fan like myself (who has actually seen every episode of the UK series The F Word) didn’t get to burn toast with Gordo.

At the Toronto Star, food editor Kim Honey cooks a recipe from Ramsay’s book and bungs up the toast. The accompanying video seems a little sketchily edited, and at one point Ramsay asks if he’s been punked. Honey’s a great writer, but if you can make toast and actually set fire to it in a toaster oven (is that even possible? Don’t they have smoke alarms in the Star test kitchen??? Were they spoofing the highly-scripted shenanigans of Ramsay’s shows?), maybe food writing is not so much your forte. Rita DeMontis of the Toronto Sun chose not to cook for Ramsay but instead presented him with a spread of locally made delectables. Thankfully Beppi Crosariol of the Globe and Mail spares us the coquettishness and offers a straight-up interview with info about the potential new restaurant (corner of Yonge & Bloor if he doesn’t choose Vancouver instead), and fans who are so devoted they have the Hell’s Kitchen logo tattooed on their back. Yowza.

In non-Ramsay food news, at the Globe, Carly Weeks reports on the first North American hit from the global food crisis - the switch back to cheaper trans fat oils at some restaurants. And for all we’re being told to choose wild Pacific salmon over anything farmed or Atlantic, chefs and restaurateurs in Vancouver are looking at going in the opposite direction due to the low stocks of wild fish. And speaking of fish, Heather Sokoloff interviews Taras Grescoe, author of the book Bottomfeeder, about declining fish stocks.

Also at the Globe, Harland Williams is the Sunday Dinner interview, Beppi Crosariol categorizes people by their grape choice, and despite last week’s announcement that vitamin supplements are unnecessary, Leslie Beck recommends some anyway, just in case. Guest essayist Stan Byrne recalls the decision to become vegetarian,  and Alexandra Gill reports on the team of students who will be running the catering operation at the British Columbia-Canada Pavilion in Beijing.

At the Sun, Rita DeMontis is “ga-ga for grapefruit” with recipes and info. I’m actually such a huge grapefruit fan that it got me in trouble - my dentist cut me off when the acid started wrecking my tooth enamel. DeMontis also has the results of the fudge contest at the Good Food Festival - sounds like I missed a great time - I was supposed to help judge this but was thwarted by unhelpful GO Train schedules. Elizabeth Baird has info on oats and barley as we all start looking to grains other than wheat, rice and corn.

While Pamela Cuthbert’s piece about raw milk cheese for the Star is informative and interesting, it was overlooked this morning around our breakfast table as we wailed over the news in the sidebar piece about how cheesemaker Ruth Klassen may be forced to shut down her much-loved Monforte Dairy. Also at the Star, Judy Gerstel checks out the uber-swank kitchen in the party room at Concord City Place, Gordon Stimmell looks at the great value of Ontario wines, and Amy Pataki swoons over pistachio cake.

And from the uber-difficult to navigate National Post (where they just list the headlines and I have to check every story to see if there’s food in it), Karen Hawthorne has an interview with the authors of Beyond the Great Wall: Recipes and Travels in the Other China, Amy Rosen goes to Collingwood and has buckwheat pancakes, and at The Appetizer, Gina Mallet digs the butter and Vanessa Farquharson tries the cheese.

Incidentally, for the curious, if we had been granted an interview with Ramsay, we’d have taken him to Volo for a sampling of local craft beer and cheese. After all the mainstream media interviews, cooking demos, autographs, and rabid tattooed fans, relaxing with a beer would have been a welcome break.