Phil’s Original BBQ
838 College Street
416-532-8161
Dinner for two with all taxes, tip, and beer: $80

I’m going to start this off with a pissy little pet peeve of mine regarding the variant spelling of “barbecue”, and that would be “barbeque”. “Barbeque” would be pronounced “barbeck” when you think about it. I wish more BBQ places would think about this when they go to the printer or sign-maker.

I have no problem with BBQ. I guess that’s just the way I roll.

Okay, end of peeve.

However, I do suppose it’s also appropriate to add that other than what I know about throwing a steak or hunk of salmon on my little backyard Masterchef (when I am not fretting about propane tank explosions in the hot sun and nests of spiders clogging up my Venturi tubes), I really don’t know true “barbecue” from barbed wire. Or Barbie. Or Shinola. So I can’t, with any authority, say that Phil’s Original BBQ is serving authentic product.

But I can say this: Phil’s Original BBQ serves very good food that is barbecued.

There isn’t really anything on the menu in the way of a designated appetizer. The corn meal pancakes with melted cheese, known as cachapas ($4.50), sound interesting, but I opt for the hush puppies ($1.75) because a) I’ve never eaten hush puppies before and b) deep-fried anything is hard for me to resist. I don’t have the experience to make a comparison, but Phil’s hush puppies are piping hot dark nuggets of crisp-fried cornmeal dough surrounding a moist golden interior. On their own, these are crunchy but rather bland little bites, but the accompanying dipping sauce, tangy and cinnamon-sweet, makes me consider another order on a future visit.

I select the ribs ($21.50) – a portion straight out of the Bedrock Drive-in. They’re full of smoky goodness, and tender – the meat coming away from the bone with little effort. One fellow diner remarks that perhaps they could be saucier – and perhaps he’s right. Conveniently, Phil’s has squeeze bottles of extra BBQ elixir on the table, but I decline. I’m quite happy with the ribs just the way they are.

The side of coleslaw that arrives with the ribs cannot be ignored – this is some kick-ass cool cabbage nicely spiced with a splash of barbecue sauce. Potato salad comprises slices of tiny red-skinned potatoes in a horseradish dressing that is loaded with dill. It’s fantastic. But what totally steals my heart (and those of the others at the table) are the beans. The menu’s simple description of “sweet and meaty” is accurate, but oh, these little beany babies are so much more! While they may have started out in a can somewhere, some clever doctoring in the kitchen before they hit the plate elevates this ordinary side dish to a whole other level. Lots of body, sweet and rich with deep smoke flavour, these are by far the best beans I’ve ever had in my life. Ever.

Fellow diners’ pulled pork ($13.95 for the plate) and brisket (part of the combo platter of chicken, ribs and brisket for $23) are tasty for sure, but not scrap-book memorable. The platter’s quarter chicken looks terrific and is full of flavour, but it’s a bit on the dry side.

Our choice of dessert is a warm slice of pecan pie glossed with chocolate sauce ($4). Intense, gooey and deliciously naughty, this dietician’s nightmare is a sweet dreamy finish.

Phil’s is a casual, friendly place where the service is prompt and helpful, and the blues/jazz mix runs hot and cool. It’s not the spot for the sophisticated courting of one’s true love, but it’s comfortable and homey, and, hot damn, it smells good. The one negative is that Phil’s closes rather early. My friends and I are never pressured to drink up and get the hell out (one server apologizes for bringing the bill while we’re in the middle of our second round of pints), but upon departure, we hear the door being locked behind us. And it’s only 9 p.m.

But that’s okay. Phil’s might spell “barbecue” all wrong on their business cards, but they do know how to spell BBQ. As in Be Back Quick. Because I know I will be.

More beans please. Seriously.