Posted by Greg Clow in in the papers, news and media on June 16, 2007 at 6:15 pm

I am, I must admit, something of a fanboy when it comes to Gina Mallet. I may not agree with everything she writes, but I generally love the way she writes it, and reading her often off-centre restaurant reviews in the National Post each week is a real treat.

However, her review of Marben in today's paper has me both confused and frustrated - partly because the portion of the article where she reviews the mains is completely missing from the online edition, but mainly because the whole thing is inexplicably written as if she's in a Harry Potter novel, and I'm one of about 5 people on the planet who has never understood the attraction to the young four-eyed wizard. So I basically have no frickin' idea what she's talking about in passages like this:

In no time at all, I am being briefed at Hogwarts School, then broomsticked to Marben, a downtown Toronto restaurant full of female Muggles. The bar is womanned by a strapless Muggle, and there is a large man in a vintage Brezhnev-era box suit holding forth at a rectangular light table that gleams like onyx. From his mouth pours humongous noun after ginormous adjective "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis? supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? floccinaucinihilipilification?" while a red-haired dwarf beside him takes notes for worldwide distribution. Can this motormouth really be Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter's sworn enemy, the genocidal Muggle hater of Wizardland?

Uhhhh... OK. At least I know from the one star at the top of the review that she didn't like the place.

Also in the Post:

• Jason Chow lets us know that wild leeks are soooo last month - in June, it's all about the garlic scapes.
• Green Lantern better watch out, as Michael Vaughan has a Yellow Jacket vs. Yellow Tail wine showdown.
• Karen Burshtein looks at another wine-related showdown: cork vs. screw-top.
• Bonnie Stern suggests a menu that is seasonably suitable for dads and grads.

Over in the Toronto Star, Amy Pataki checks out OkayOkay Diner, a retro-styled joint that she gives three out of five despite the fact that they take a few shortcuts in the kitchen:

(Chef/co-owner Carey Wesenberg) is not a fanatic who makes everything on-site. Wesenberg takes shortcuts, using bottled salsa and frozen hash browns. Still, a feather comforter is heavier than his buttermilk pancakes ($6.99), made from a mix with a light touch. The hubcap-sized beauties are none too sweet. That's the job for real maple syrup poured from a teapot.

When Wesenberg does cook from scratch, it makes you wish he did so more often. His "kick*ss" guacamole lives up to its billing: bright with lime, goosed with hot sauce and impossibly creamy. The old-school cheeseburger ($4.99) is rich and juicy, the skinny frites crisp.

Pataki also has a sidebar feature this week where she has a few good things to say about Sushi Marché, and some not-so-kind words for Fare Bistro.

Also in the Star:

• Gordon Stimmell recommends a quintet of rosés - although once again, only the intro to his column appears online, with the actual reviews gone AWOL.
• Susan Sampson suggests a BBQ smoker tube as a last-minute Father's Day gift, and gives a recipe for smoky ketchup that dad can make once he fires things up.
• Megan Ogilvie decodes Thrive, a hardcore vegan diet that is apparently popular with professional body builders.

Joanne Kates has a seemingly odd complaint in the Globe & Mail this week: She was served too much food at Senses. Although if you read the whole review, you'll probably agree that she seems to have a good point:

These tasting plates are too big and not interesting enough to hold the attention; each one resembles half a competent main course. We like the B.C. spot prawn with its uni garnish, although the prawn's duck-skin wrapper has gone soggy. The twin purées (green pea and white bean) work well, but are robust and fill the belly. Trio of foie gras crème brûlées is about as gilded as the lily gets: one of foie gras melted down in cream and topped with crunchy sea salt, one with goat cheese and caramelized pineapple in the foie gras cream, and the third the same cream infused with vanilla and peach. Lots of fun, but too much too rich for a six-course tasting menu - unless they were thimble-sized, which they're not.

Also in the Globe:

• Lacy Waverman makes a hearty Father's Day dinner of salad, salad, steak, and pie for her husband.
• Sasha Chapman hits a Middle Eastern bazaars at Lawrence and Victoria Park to get some fresh fava beans.