La Tea Da
2305 Queen Street East
416-686-5787
Afternoon tea for two, all taxes and tip: $35

Have you ever glanced at people’s food as you walked by a restaurant window? Has your glance ever turned into a gaze? Has your gaze turned into a stare as you stopped walking in order to scrutinize the diners’ meals? And did you then press yourself against the restaurant window until your face was transformed into a grotesque mask of hunger and desperation? Did the management of the restaurant have to go outside and confront you? Did a fierce physical contest ensue?

No? Well, nothing like that has happened to me, not lately anyway, and not in front of La Tea Da, a tea room on Queen Street East. That would be most uncouth. No, after one quick look at its charming exterior, I was inside its equally charming interior and seated with my family for a genteel afternoon tea. And it was the gentility of a tea room I sought- a soothing, linen draped sanctuary from the coarseness of everyday life.

One doesn’t demand a divorce in a tea room. No one will burst out into ‘roid rage in a tea room. Nor does one expect to fall victim to a marauding pit bull or stray bullet. In a tea room everything from the tea service to the toilet should be subdued and pleasant and refined.

The first impression here is promising. The walls are painted robin’s egg blue, and the tables are set with lovely bone-china. Jazz plays quietly in the background. A local artist’s work is highlighted on the wall. Actually, this is a less formal and more funky atmosphere for tea than, say, the Windsor Arms Hotel. But that’s okay; we’re all in sandals and shorts anyway. And the friendly owner, Ericha Cromwell, seems more funky than formal herself.

The choices are Cream Tea Service, that’s basic scones with jam and clotted cream ($10); Afternoon Tea Service, the scones plus a variety of finger sandwiches ($15), and High Tea Service, all of the above and petit pastries from Dufflet as well ($20). Yes, I know: in England, high tea really means a heavier meal served in the evening and blah, blah, blah. Let’s just relax and have another cup of tea.

Now this is the Beach, where baby strollers rule the streets, so La Tea Da is a child friendly tea room. Delicate china and children would seem to be a hazardous combination, but Ms. Cromwell provides not only a winsome little cup for a caffeine-free fruity tea, but a genuine dollar-store tiara to wear. Our daughter practically swooned from pleasure – shiny trinkets and a live-ammunition tea party!

Connoisseurs can choose from almost forty varieties of loose-leaf tea – green, English, oolong and herbal. I select Royal Windsor tea, which is an Indian-Sri Lankan blend with a hint of muscatel. I like to think this calms both Queen Elizabeth and her troubled progeny. The tea - brewed to medium strength - is served in a medium sized pot and is placed on a candle-lit brazier after the initial pouring.

The scones and finger sandwiches are served on a three-tier curate stand. The superb scones are homemade and cry out for the accompanying jams – strawberry and Saskatoon berry today – and the clotted cream, of course. The sandwiches are diminutive pinwheels and squares that disappear in a bite or two. Among the offerings were smoked salmon, cucumber-and-cream-cheese, and avocado-tomato.

I nibble the sandwiches and watch the people passing by on bustling Queen Street. I am in a congenial mood as I sip my malty tea, pinky finger extended in the proper fashion. But what’s that? Is someone extending a finger at me? How vulgar! And is that my car he’s ticketing? How dreadfully unpleasant! Ah, well, I will linger here. It’s still better to be looking out from the inside especially when you are inside La Tea Da.